


Chapter C: "Empathy"

by yeetwoodsnacc



Series: Fire Emblem: Three Houses - Unofficial Ashe/Raphael Support Route [1]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Golden Deer Route, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Golden Deer Route Spoilers, Gay, M/M, Mentioned Golden Deer Students (Fire Emblem), Pre-Relationship, Rare Pairings, Size Difference, Soft Boys, Support Route
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-13 14:01:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21495457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeetwoodsnacc/pseuds/yeetwoodsnacc
Summary: A sleepless Raphael draws toward the Garreg Mach cathedral in the middle of the night to comfort the distress of his new classmate, Ashe Ubert, whom he may have more in common with than he previously realized. (Golden Deer Route)
Relationships: Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert/Raphael Kirsten, Ashe Ubert/Raphael Kirsten, Ashe/Raphael
Series: Fire Emblem: Three Houses - Unofficial Ashe/Raphael Support Route [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1549339
Comments: 12
Kudos: 19
Collections: FE3H Rarepair Port's All Pairings Challenge





	Chapter C: "Empathy"

With the swirling winds of the Wyvern Moon careening around his shoulders, a sleepless Raphael Kirsten found himself drawn into a late night’s walk around Garreg Mach Monastery. The nearly thousand-year-old campus was peculiarly silent during these hours, aside from the odd guard on patrol or a distant commotion from the stables. Raphael, himself, was a noticeably sound sleeper --- nothing much bothered him throughout the night, especially since his penchant for food and combat led him too dreary-eyed to study, much less roll around sleepless.

Therefore, it was particularly confusing why, on this night, in the normally peaceful respite of Garreg Mach, that Raphael found himself outside. He made sure his fur-lined coat was fastened tightly around his chest in case some isolated gust procured it from his back. Fódlan’s winds had the reputation of intensifying late in the year as the wyverns headed south, but Raphael didn’t much mind the particulars --- he only wanted warmth.

He felt he heard wind caress the individual bricks on every building, mobilizing the strength to transform into sound. It only seemed to intensify as he passed the weathered cathedral doors. Perhaps sitting in a pew and immersing himself in the building’s resonance would be able to allow him to get drowsy enough to eventually fall back asleep.

After all, he didn’t attend service if it took away from combat training. He believed in the physical over the existential. If there were gods, he’d ask them to look over his younger sister in his absence. Her happiness was the reason he sold his family business and enrolled in Garreg Mach --- but he knew better than to live in the past or wring his hands over the future. He lived with the absolute certainty that his knighthood would bring direct change to Fódlan, and only through building his body and improving his combat would he guarantee the future his sister could thrive in.

The door felt much heavier as the wind blew upon it. Raphael began to feel his training might have been failing him until an ethereal gust emerged from the doorway with an airy sigh, opening into a cavernous parish lit only by the few remaining candles unextinguished by the breeze. As if to carry him through, a wispy gust closed both doors neatly behind him in silence. It was as if The Goddess Herself told him his presence was requested.

But if The Goddess really existed, did she have to make this feel so unnatural? With a little effort, Raphael’s power would have overcome the wind. It was inevitable, frustrating…

Weeping. This wasn’t the wind or the work of a Goddess. It was somehow, something…someone familiar, someone present. He wouldn’t let himself get too far ahead, that was Ignatz’s thing. No, this was going to have to be investigated. After all, he wasn’t afraid of ghosts. But something about this situation seemed familiar. It was as if someone ---- The Goddess, perhaps --- tried to tell him that he was connected to whomever was in the darkness.

A sullen cry reverberated throughout the pews almost as if the wind let itself in. Was it his parents? If Divine Intervention could bring them back, he thought, maybe they could tell him why he wasn’t able to sleep. Maybe they could offer him encouragement. He’d respond by telling them that their daughter, his sister, was safe and protected, that he’d grow up into a warrior they could be proud of. That, he thought, would be enough to rest his eyes.

His soft boots pattered toward the wail, inching closer until he discovered the outline of a slender figure slowly bobbing its head and gasping for breath in between silently reverberating chatters. It surely wasn’t his folks, and it certainly wasn’t some beast. He wisely let his guard down. The figure had their back turned to him, their arms slightly shivering, their shaggy hair unkempt and contentious. Raphael took a deep breath, only to find the figure turning toward him was, in fact, the whimpering shadow of his new classmate. “Ashe?”

A teary gaze reflected off the dim candlelight as the lithe figure in the front cathedral pew instinctively shook his head and turned slowly toward the concern of his burly acquaintance. “Oh...oh, it’s you, Raphael.”

“What happened? Why aren’t you asleep? I couldn’t sleep and I was just walking around, and it was like the wind brought me here, I…” the words that instinctively left his mouth suddenly replaced themselves with empathy. “…I heard you crying. What’s wrong, Ashe?”

Whatever Raphael had said obviously made something worse, though neither could tell. “I…you…” Ashe could feel anger leave his lips but couldn’t muster the tone. He relented and told the truth, seeing as Raphael never posed a threat and presumably wouldn’t care. “…we…really killed him. We killed Lonato.”

“Yeah, Ashe. We did.” Raphael silently reflected on the mission the Golden Deer completed for Lady Rhea. Ashe recently joined the house and seemed oddly quiet about it all. Raphael never bothered to ask why, seeing as the boy was in a new environment and obviously cared enough about Professor Byleth to join, but he couldn’t understand why Ashe seemed reserved about the mission. “I thought we did all that we could, wh-----” Raphael stopped, wanting to get to the heart of the matter. “---no. Something’s up, Ashe. Something tells me there’s more to this.”

Ashe slightly hesitated but felt the words spill from his tear ducts. “…there is something wrong, Raphael.” His tears now seemed to roll louder than his words. “I don’t know if you know this, but…Lord Lonato took me in. He was my adoptive father.”

Devastation shot through Raphael’s body like nothing he felt on the training ground or battlefield. Was Lady Rhea capable of making such a mistake? He had to clarify. “Lonato?”

“Yeah…” Ashe’s voice trembled nervously. “…and if it wasn’t for him, I would have been alone, minute to minute on the streets, hoping some kindred spirit would lend me something I could survive on until morning…”

Ashe struggled to breathe in between sniffles and sentences. He knew he was about to share something that carried unbearable emotional weight. Raphael noticed this as well and was able to prepare himself for whatever was on its way. As a warrior, it was his duty. As a classmate, his obligation. As a potential friend, his need. He listened intently as the first syllable dripped from Ashe’s soaking mouth.

“It was the only thing I could do for my younger siblings,” Ashe said. “I…I only wanted to see them smile again.”

Raphael immediately knew how to respond, as if instinct took over. “I know, Ashe. I’m sorry. I know exactly how it feels to lose your parents and care for a sibling you love more than anyone else. The same thing happened to my folks.” Suddenly, Ashe’s teary green eyes darted toward the barely-visible face of his classmate. In contrast, Raphael was warm, composed, strong. But Ashe wouldn’t let his guard down just yet.

“But you…you never had to go through what I did,” said Ashe. Repressed anger spat between his clenched teeth. “I had a brother in Lord Lonato’s family. The Church came for him, too. And he’s dead, thanks to them…thanks to ‘us’.”

Raphael wanted to reach out his arm and place a warm hand on Ashe’s trembling shoulder but couldn’t manage the distance. He compensated by slowly taking a step forward. Ashe continued lamenting his losses. “Christophe, Lonato, my biological parents...all gone. No Goddess will resurrect them. No one’s going to admit they made a mistake. Their blood is on the Church of Seiros, and no apology will bring them back.”

Raphael paused for a second to collect his thoughts. He didn’t know the level of grief Ashe was facing, but he knew where to begin. “Hey Ashe, did you ever think…maybe our folks knew one another. You were a commoner, right?”

Ashe shook his head and stared at the ground. “I mean...I guess, a long time ago,” he mumbled. “My biological parents ran a restaurant. What does it matter now?”

“My folks were merchants,” said Raphael, resting his right arm atop a pew. “Who knows, maybe your biological family and mine traded with one another. Maybe they stopped by to deliver meats. Maybe they talked a couple times. Maybe you and I even met one another as kids!”

Ashe found his aside completely ridiculous, but a little flicker in the back of his mind thought it made sense. It didn’t matter --- he wasn’t about to give in just yet. “Yeah,” replied Ashe. “Say they did. Say we did. I really don’t know you very well, Raphael. You can’t say you know how I feel without knowing the person I am.”

“But, that’s the funny part about all this,” Raphael calmly implied. “I kinda feel like I do.” A friend emerged behind the tears.

“I have a little sis of my own,” continued Raphael, “and I’d gladly fight the largest beast on the tallest peak if it meant Maya wouldn’t worry. From what you said, I’m sure you’ll do the same for your family.”

“I guess you’re right,” responded Ashe, tears drying underneath his eyelids. “I stole a book from Lonato’s library to help them see beyond this life. I hated the hunger, the desperation, the thievery…I only wanted to give them hope. Lonato caught me, but in doing that, saw something no one could. Maybe it was for the best that he adopted me, took my family in and sent me here, but…Raphael, I don’t know anymore. The world isn’t a very kind place, and I don’t know if I trust the Church. But right now, it’s the only place I have left.”

Raphael noticed a single tear slowly beginning to unfurl from the corner of Ashe’s right eye. Through this moment of vulnerability, Raphael recognized Ashe’s bravery by understanding the truth behind his discouragement. Ashe had every opportunity to refuse Rhea’s mission. Instead, he gathered his courage, joined his classmates and fought. It was strength, Raphael thought, that couldn’t be measured by a muscle.

“The world isn’t perfect,” Raphael responded, “but that doesn’t mean people have to suffer for it. I see the way you carry yourself in class and in battle. Yeah, you may be quiet sometimes, but I’ve never felt suspicious about you. In fact, I always felt you were a good person who only needed a chance.”

Ashe’s face raised itself in slight confusion. “Really?”

“Well, from what I know, at least,” Raphael managed to crack a smile as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I sorta notice it about people, and now? I definitely know it about you.”

Ashe felt the crying was finally coming to an end. A new feeling replaced it. What it was, he couldn’t quite understand. Its warmth felt encouraging. “I...thank you, Raphael. I don’t know how best to put this, but…I didn’t think any of you would be this kind toward someone like me.”

Raphael’s wry smile turned to a grin. He dealt with thieves in the past --- maybe Ashe even stole from his parents --- but his empathy superseded his past. “It’s no big deal! You had every right to do what you could to survive. What happened might hurt, and it’s gonna be difficult to forget. But there’s no reason to relive it. You’ve come so far! You’ve just gotta make the most of what you have right now. Here. With us.”

Ashe relented. His eyes once again turned toward his boots. “Well, that’s the toughest part, Raphael. I don’t know if this is what I really want. I don’t think I can get over everything that easily. I’m angry at Rhea for the pain she caused, and I don’t know if I can ever forgive her.”

“No matter what your head says,” replied Raphael, “you deserve to be here. You did the right thing for your family. No one gives an orphan a road map. Most times, we only get ignored. I was one of the luckier ones to have enough money after selling the family business. But, hey, look at it this way --- you and me? We survived. We’re here. Professor Byleth, Lady Rhea? They have enough trust in us to lead the class. You’re skilled with a bow, I’m skilled with my fists. That means both of us are here for a reason, aren’t we?”

A smile finally began to emerge from behind Ashe’s disheveled, silver coif. “Yeah. You’re right,” It was a smile Raphael could feel. It could bear the fiercest storms. It survived trauma and heartache only to rest peacefully underneath glowing green eyes. And through the reflection of tears, here it was --- unharmed, restored, strong.

Raphael swore the candles in the room glowed lighter as Ashe continued. “Lonato was a good man, but what we saw on that battlefield…maybe that wasn’t him. It was almost like something...someONE...took him over. Maybe there was a reason we attacked. Maybe it’s through battle that we’ll find out why.”

“Don’t worry, Ashe,” said Raphael, “we’ll figure out what happened to him. Until then, it’s time we get better. I say we hit the training ground. In fact, how would you like to be my sparring partner for the rest of the week?”

The request caught Ashe off guard. He was flustered, nearly blushing. “Oh, I don’t know, Raphael, you’re kinda, almost seven feet ta---"

“I insist!” Raphael needed to interrupt. “Besides, I think we’re lagging on our axes. Hilda can’t carry our team by herself, can she? That’s why you and I --- we need to pull up the slack!”

Ashe suddenly had an epiphany. “I mean, I guess I’ve always been interested in learning how to throw axes. If I combine that with my bow, maybe…”

“Great!” Raphael exclaimed. “I’ll see you at dawn!”

Ashe curled back in terror as the faint syllable squeaked out of the corner of his mouth. “...dawn?”

Raphael beamed. He knew he won Ashe over. “Yep! That means before class. I’ll be around to wake you up, which means we gotta get out of this cathedral before we regret it.”

Ashe suddenly found himself in a new realm of sorrow. He wasn’t sure if he agreed, but it was better than crying over his losses. Still, the eager Raphael’s insistence jarred him off center. “Yeeaaahhh! I’ll be, uh, seeing you, then. In a...couple hours?”

Raphael firmly nodded as he turned toward toward the doorway. No matter how unsettling his arrival, he was able to find, through restlessness and cold, someone who he could fight alongside. More importantly, Ashe was someone he shared a past with --- someone he could trust. Raphael knew that bonds like these, in a land like Fódlan, were nearly impossible to find.

Suddenly, an impish voice rose from behind the darkened pews. “Good night, Raphael. And…thank you.”

“Good night, Ashe,” replied Raphael, voice reflecting off the cathedral roof. “I’ll see you first thing tomorrow. Get some rest, okay?”

A small yawn broke away from Ashe’s drowsy face. “…I’ll try my best.”

As he walked through the night, Raphael felt as if the winds carried slightly calmer than before. It’s as if someone told him it was safe. There’d be uncertainty on the horizon and struggles aplenty, but for the time, relief and comfort settled him into slumber, rising with the light of dawn and the promise of recovery in the warmth of a new friend’s smile.

**Author's Note:**

> \---EACH CHAPTER OF THIS ANTHOLOGY WILL CORRESPOND TO A CHAPTER IN FE:3H’S SUPPORT ROUTE. CHAPTER 1 WILL BE C, CHAPTER 2 = B, 3=A, 4=S. THIS ALSO CORRESPONDS WITH THE GOLDEN DEER ROUTE. ---
> 
> Well! Now that that's out of the way, hi! Fire Emblem: Three Houses is my first-ever game in the series. That being said, this is not only my first post on AO3 but my first attempt at writing fic --- or anything fictional --- in a looooong time.
> 
> Ashe's backstory affected me in ways I still haven't processed. Full disclosure: I'm a highly empathetic, highly sensitive person. Hearing Ashe's backstory after recruiting him for the Golden Deer absolutely broke my heart. I haven't cried as hard in months. And over a fictional character, no less.
> 
> So, here I am, joining the FE3H Rarepair Discord (huge shoutout!), writing this on sheer emotion and signing up for A03. And...here it is! Hopefully it can lead somewhere, and that you enjoy it. I might just have a future in this sorta thing!
> 
> Special thanks to my good FE3H and BNHA friend Nethie for proofreading and offering great encouragement!! As well as everyone on the FE3H Rarepair server who encouraged me along the way (too many of you out to name, but I thank you all).
> 
> Rest assured, spicier things are coming after the timeskip in chapters A and S!
> 
> So...the last time I wrote fic, I listed the songs that I either listened to or came to mind, so, without further ado, here's the Soundtrack To This Post! Music means a LOT to me, and it definitely made me feel a lot as I wrote, so here are some of the songs I was inspired by (not necessarily songs that fit with the story):
> 
> SOUNDTRACK:  
The Who - 1921  
The Velvet Underground - Pale Blue Eyes  
Bob Dylan - It's Alright Ma, I'm Only Bleeding  
The Shins - So Now What  
Gipsy Kings - Soledad  
City And Colour - Sensible Heart (Live 2017)  
City And Colour - Living In Lightning  
City And Colour - Two Coins  
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Lose Yourself  
Kangding Love Story (Traditional)


End file.
